I wanted to write about an issue that comes up frequently enough to become a glaring problem. I’ve encountered this issue both in group settings and when talking to someone one-on-one. I’m just as guilty of doing this, and I’m making a point to be better when it happens, yet at the same time, I’ve become accustomed to just letting it happen, and I almost expect it now. I don’t stop it, point it out, or set the ground rules to prevent it from happening. There’s a small part of me that enjoys it, I guess.
Interruptions. Conversations weird relative three times removed that no one invited yet comfortably inserts themselves into what is being communicated. When interruptions occur, a few things happen; you lose train of thought, you are showing the other person or people what they have to say, or what you have to say is more or less important. Details that need to be restated are missed because the other person or people didn’t quite understand what you were saying.
Interrupted regularly is what happened to me recently in a team meeting. I was asked my thoughts on issues in our organization, and being an introvert, I took my time answering; I was taking too much time for one person, and they kept interrupting me. Eventually, I got my thoughts out, but it took much longer. I ended the conversation not feeling confident in what I shared, nor did I feel heard.
STOOOOOOOOP ITTTTTTTTT!
There’s a difference between telling someone/people what to do or how to think and letting those same someone(s) come to their conclusion and making it less of a one-person show with one person having the proverbial floor more than everyone else. There is no room for collaboration or insight into how someone else may see a challenge, and there’s just one person’s opinion, and opinion is the operative word.
So what are some ways to reduce the interruptions you or others do to you?
Listen with your ears, not your mouth
Keeping your mouth closed and ears open is the number one technique to avoid interrupting someone speaking. When you have something to say, keep it in the back of your mind; even write it down if you have difficulty remembering. Your question or comment may be answered or discussed later in the conversation. When you interrupt someone, you are showing them that you aren’t listening; what they say is less important than what you have to say. When you interrupt, you miss something that has been said, and it shows when you either ask a question that was already answered or restate what was just said, just how the other person said it.
Count to ten before you speak
Not only will it allow the speaker enough time to continue their train of thought, but it will give you more time to get more clarity on what you want to say when it is your turn to make a comment or ask a question.
Turn off your phone & other electronics
Or at least put them on mute. As I’m writing this, I’m getting texts. My first instinct is to stop what I’m doing and check to see who it is and what they want. Knock it off! Just as with speaking, stopping what you are doing takes your attention away from what is being said or the task at hand. If the email, call, or text is that important, the person will keep trying until you pick up.
Know your audience
Suppose you are the one speaking. Read. The. Room. If people are glazed over or whispering to each other, pick a good place to stop and ask the group or person, “Do you have any questions? “. This helps diffuse any awkwardness and get clarity if what you are saying is understood, but it also allows those squirming in their seats to comment or ask questions. If there are none, you have given those interrupters a chance, and there were no questions so that you can continue your conversation.
Balancing Cat 