I’ve been single my entire adult life. Some by choice and some by circumstance. Circumstances aside, I like being able to do what I want, when I want, go where I want, and with whom. I like not having to check in on someone to see if it’s o.k. that I go somewhere or spend money on something. I like not having to have to deal with someone else’s family dysfunction. Sure it gets lonely. My sex life is non-existent, well, with another person that is. But every so often I do wonder what it would be like to have another person to share the ups and downs of life and support one another.
So, I reluctantly sign up for one of those dating apps, put down all the necessary information and post pictures of me being fun and exciting, and out socializing with wild abandon…then I remember, I’m an introvert. My idea of fun is quietly sitting at home with a good book or movie. My friend pool has shrunk considerably during the pandemic and I was never one to go to bars on a regular basis. Then comes the part where they ask for a bio and for you to answer stupid questions like “My idea of a sexy first date is…” Ummm if it’s the first date, why does it have to be sexy?
I in my ignorance think~ o.k. this is my opportunity to let potential partners know what I’m looking for and it would be a quick and easy way to weed out the creeps. Does it work? Not really because the creeps still creep in assaulting your eyes with unsolicited dickpics, penis-related inuendos, and grandiose ideas of how they will make you satisfied~usually followed up by the obligatory shirtless picture flexing what they perceive as muscle decorated with tattoos of naked women. Even when I put that I’m looking for great conversation and would like to get to know someone before getting intimate that is somehow translated to “Let’s talk about how my dick is the size of a baguette”.
This happened to me recently and when I asked “Does this really work on women” I was met with some snarky remark immediately followed by him cutting communication that could only be made by someone who either a) doesn’t understand that not all women will drop their panties at the mere mention of comparing your member to foodstuffs or b) cutting bait before I call them out on their claim of having such a member of that size and is asked to prove it.
I should have been the one to end the communication as his lack of asking questions about me except for the one “do you wear red lipstick because that’s hot” question. And it was that question where I’m reminded why I don’t do online dating. Guys, do you even listen to the crap that comes out of your mouth or over texts?!
O.k. fine, I get it. I don’t know how to play the game. I’m not into bedroom talk with someone I just met. Online dating isn’t for everyone but I do know some people who have had great luck and even have met their long-term partner and some have even married. Good for them! Now as I encroach middle age, I’m still firm in the fact that I like my independence and i”m not willing to engage in conversations with a complete stranger who compares their body parts to foodstuffs. The pandemic hasn’t made things any easier and the prospects of finding “the one” is becoming a mirage and I may be alone forever. I’ll remain hopeful and am going with the thought that he is out there, he’s just a little a lot lost.
In the meantime, I’ll stick with this little potato. At least he’s polite about asking for pettings.
Balancing Cat 