Whenever I hear someone talk about not wanting to be in the circumstances they are in but not wanting to change, I can’t help but feel little to no empathy. Things are not as bad as they are perceived if they aren’t willing to change the situation. I have been pigeonholed into Administrative positions my entire working career. At first, I saw it as a means to make money until I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Still, as time went on, I found myself taking the same job but with different organizations under the promise of growth potential within the company that never happened. Over time it started to weigh heavily on me. I came to regret being the one who always answered the phone, always played hostess to guests, and always had to ask for someone to cover for me while I peed. I tried just going with it; then I realized if I hate what I’m doing so much, find something to enjoy outside of that job and learn to tolerate it but put your joy and passion into outside interests. Then as I grew older, even this became futile. Then I thought that the way to advance a career was to show interest in learning new things, so that’s what I did. I looked for upper management mentors and tried to learn new skills, but to no avail; I was kept the admin because they couldn’t be bothered to train someone else to do my job. After a brief stint of trying my hand at my health and wellness consulting, my passion for finding a job that supported those in the health care arena sprouted when I took a job at a non-profit. I finally felt like I was going in the right direction, no more front desk, no more plastering a fake smile on my face and greeting people who more often than not reciprocated my bubbly disposition with attitude and assholery (yes, that’s a word, deal with it), that was until I was once again, asked to fill the role of receptionist until upper management could figure out what they wanted. I agreed because i believe you need to pay your dues and for MONTHS I did two jobs and patiently waited only to find out they had no intention of filling the position with someone else, why should they? I was experiencing things within the organization that I felt management was missing. So, I advanced my education to find a job that would complement my skills, education, background, and the years of experience I had already under my belt.
Five months ago, I took a job with a non-profit, and you guessed it, I’m an Admin. Why did you take the job, you are probably asking: Because after a year of ghosting, rejection, and letdowns of jobs, I FINALLY landed a job. Yes, it was out of desperation, but it was also in the industry I wanted, and the management is humble, appreciative, and loves what they do. Still, I can’t seem to shake that feeling that the universe wants me to stay in a position where I’m “just the Admin” no matter what I do. Today I was asked if I would take on another C-Level Executive. Not that I’m not honored, but I’m done being an Admin. I almost screamed I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ADMIN FOREVER! I’ve been thinking and I would like to find more in the project management field. I told them I needed to know more about the added responsibilities, and knowing they wouldn’t offer to increase my rate, what’s in it for me? Do I just give in to the universe and regret my working career until I retire, or do I stick up for myself more and push for what I want. So here it is. I’m not thrilled about a situation, and I’m doing everything I can think of to get out of it, but no matter what I do, the universe is determined to keep me where I am. Any suggestions would be great to navigate this frustrating truth about my career.
Balancing Cat 